Review: Picture Perfect

 Ed's H Game Review! 

Picture Perfect

Game Type: Ren'py Choice Based Visual Novel

Creator: Super Writer

Version Played: Final release

Super Writer is an ironic name, right? It has to be. It just has to.

A half an hour into this game, I could only think of the Roger Ebert quote regarding Freddy Got Fingered. "This movie doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't below the bottom of the barrel. This movie doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence as barrels." Now admittedly, Freddy Got Fingered is a singularly unique piece of cinema which is so terrible and offensive and yet somehow so normal that the analogy works and the wrath is entirely justified. I can't say that about Picture Perfect. This isn't singularly unique. But it is certainly in the direct vicinity of the bottom of the barrel.

The game is about a "landlord" and his three young, college-aged "tenants." There's a plot hook about money problems, but that doesn't even come up until the second or so chapter of the game, long after everything is introduced. That plot hook is probably the most interesting thing about the game, because the characters sure aren't. The three "tenants" are the shy, nerdy one (Miracle), the sexy model one (Paris), and the feisty actor one (Sasha). To the game's credit, while it uses a lot of H Game code words, "college" in this case isn't. Tuition and dorm rooms are an active part of the plot and are a part of Miracle's story in particular. 

But while the setup has some interesting points, the writing itself is incredibly uninspired. The "landlord" has innapropriate thoughts about his "tenants." Nothing new there. Low hanging fruit jokes about Bill Cosby? Humor! Random Twilight references to show much of a nerd Miracle is? That's relevant, right? A Caitlyn Jenner joke to question the main character's masculinity? How mature! WHO GIVES A SHIT?

Playing this game and dealing with this not-so-Super Writer is a chore. It's tedious. Normally when I say "it doesn't do anything new or interesting" a sadly all-too-common refrain for these reviews, I mean that insofar as many of these games have coalesced into certain tropes and too many of them follow the tropes too closely. This game doesn't follow those tropes, it IS those tropes. It embodies them entirely. You could use this game as a baseline example for any prospective H game writer. This is the zero point. Start here. The very beginning, the very core, the center, the soul of the tropes that permeate the genre. This isn't archetypical. This is just... arche.

Okay, let's talk about the renders. They're fine. They're 100% acceptable. They don't add, they don't detract. They sure do exist, don't they?

I'm reminded in no small way of the song Life by power metal band Sonata Arctica. It has some interesting ideas on paper, but its execution is so bland, half baked, and poorly executed that in the end, despite all the efforts of the creators, I can't see myself coming back to it, recommending it, or even really remembering it.

And so I write this review. As a testiment to the existence of Picture Perfect, a game that lives up to its name only as a picture perfect example of baseline mediocrity so utterly devoid of ambition that the bottom of the barrel serves far more of a purpose. And I regret comparing it to Freddy Got Fingered. Freddy Got Fingered is MEMORABLE.

Pros: It doesn't require much thought.

Cons: It doesn't require ANY thought.

Overall: 2/10

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SuperWriter